Can Mothers stop Terrorism?

By Nona Walia

Social scientist and activist Dr Edit Schlaffer affirms so. She tells Nona Walia why mothers have the power to stop radicalisation of their children, and make this world a peaceful place.

Recent reports suggest that the Boston Marathon bombers' mother, Zubeidat Tsarnaeva, had a fair knowledge about her children's radical ideas, though she may not have known about the act of terror. The question is had she known, could she deter her sons from their deadly plan? Dr Edit Schlaffer may answer in the affirmative. The Austrian social scientist and gender activist believes that a mother can curb conflicts and extremist ideas within her family. Through her organisation, Women Without Borders (WWB), she tirelessly advocates empowering women as the biggest agents of change in every society. Her more recent project, Sisters Against Violent Extremism (SAVE), is the first global women anti-terror platform that encourages women, especially mothers, to deter violent terrorist activities and radicalisation of their children. "Mothers are strategically located at the core of their families and are, therefore, typically the first to deal with their children's fear, resignation, frustration and anger," says Schlaffer. Excerpts from an interview:

How effective can a mother be in stopping extremist thinking within her family? I have learned during many of my encounters with women around the globe that the potential of mothers has thus far been neglected in counter terrorism strategy. The primary focus has rested instead on military operations, intelligence and law enforcement. Since women — and mothers in particular — possess the unique ability to recognise early warning signs of radicalisation in their children, they can play a key role in curtailing violent extremism. First and foremost, mothers have to be equipped with the necessary knowledge and self-confidence to become active players in the security arena. This is where our work starts: we aim at sensitising mothers to make them aware of their potential in influencing and guiding their children's lives, and in preventing them from engaging in terrorist activities.

How can a mother stop her child from taking the wrong path? Children tend to listen only to their mothers when they see them as figures of respect and authority. Yet in many of the communities within which we work, this is not always the case. We therefore focus on concepts of self-confidence, competence and empowerment. Mothers need to first establish a position of authority within their families; a child only respects the mother when her position is not challenged by her husband or friends or society as a whole.

You have worked with mothers of suicide bombers. Are they just helpless bystanders? During my recent visit to the West Bank, I talked to a woman by the name of Salma, a mother of two adolescent boys. The tragedy of her eldest son Ali — who turned himself into a live bomb — still looms over her. Today, Salma admits that something was terribly wrong. Confronted with this situation for the first time, she turned to her husband for advice, who in turn told her that women have no place in politics. Much later, she learned that two of her close neighbours shared her concerns. They too lacked the courage to speak up and the space to voice their concerns. Salma responded to her loss by creating a safe space for mothers in her own home, where she could encourage open communication and help foster deeper mother-son relationships. Mothers like Salma are challenging the notion of Palestinian mothers who welcome their sons' martyrdom. Salma embodies the new heroes combating violent extremism at the frontlines.

So strengthening of the mother-son bond is essential to end conflict? Yes. For instance, Esther Ibanga, a Christian pastor and community leader in Nigeria is currently working with us on bridgebuilding activities. Following the violence between Christians and Muslims on the Jos plateau in recent years, she decided to do something particularly courageous: Esther went against her own constituency by reaching out to both sides and calling for an end to the bloodshed. By engaging with both sides, she began to see similarities between the two antagonistic religious communities. She became close to Khadija Hawaja, an Islamic scholar and community leader. Esther realised that they were both mothers who shared the same pain and dreams. Today, they work tirelessly to show the human face of the 'other side' and to create safe havens in their homes and communities.

You have interacted with the mother of convicted 9/11 terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui. What is the personal face of public terrorist tragedies? Zacarias was the first person to be convicted in the US for his involvement in the 9/11 attacks. His mother Aisha reached out to the 9/11 victims' family members after the attacks, a unique gesture in an atmosphere of global hostility and fear. Aisha has spoken passionately about the need to break the cycle of revenge, and engaging mothers worldwide in their search for alternatives. She emphasises that Prophet Mohammed celebrates mothers; he insists that their role is vital in the upbringing of their sons in accordance with the values of true Islamic teaching that does not preach hatred or violence.

What are the driving forces in stabilising an insecure world? We are currently launching 'mother school' programmes around the world, from Tajikistan to Indonesia, from Northern Ireland to India. The programme aims to e q u i p wo m e n with the appropriate tools to raise delicate issues within their families. In India, for example, a woman named Archana Kapoor has founded a community radio station in Mewat, Haryana, that reaches 5,00,000 listeners. Poverty, isolation and marginalisation make the population susceptible and prone to violence. We need to stop conflict at the very root; that will stop the making of a terrorist at the core of the family level. "Women — and mothers in particular — possess the unique ability to recognise early warning signs of radicalisation in their children. They can play a key role in curtailing violent extremism" 

Originally published in Times of India on Sunday, May 12th, 2013

US marks 9/11 anniversary, SAVE to launch Women of One Fabric global workshop series in New York

Thousands will gather today in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania to mark the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks in a number of low key ceremonies.

The main ceremony will be the ritual reading at New York’s Ground Zero of the names of the 2,983 people who died both on 9/11 and during the 1993 car bombing of the World Trade Center.

The New York skyline has been lit up with twin lights, filling the hole left after the collapse of the twin towers.

President Obama and his wife Michelle will observe the anniversary with a moment of silence outside the White House.

It has been more than two years since Osama Bin Laden was killed at his Abbottabad compound in Pakistan. Even though the Al Qaeda movement was largely weakened by their leader’s death, terrorist attacks are still occurring every day in Iraq, Yemen, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Somalia and many other countries in the name of Al Qaeda and its affiliate organizations. Recent hate crimes, shootings and terrorist attacks in Europe and the US have also shed light on rising sentiments of intolerance towards different cultures and religions in the West.

Sisters Against Violent extremism believes that now more than ever, women around the world must take the lead in the fight against violent extremism in their communities. It is true that in times of war and insecurity women often pay the highest price, nonetheless, SAVE strongly believes that women are also driven to protect their families and best-placed to be a creative force for stability in their households, neighborhoods and cities. Women hold key strategic positions as wives, mothers, educators, social workers and community leaders and are therefore better positioned to prevent the spread of violence by advocating for peace, tolerance and non-violence.

SAVE is launching a brand new film entitled Your Mother that addresses the issue of violent extremism and its impact on mothers around the world. Find out more on our website.

On the occasion of the 11th anniversary of 9/11, SAVE will run the very first Women of One Fabric workshop in Irvington, NY, in partnership with Tuesday’s Children. The workshop will be the primary stage of a global solidarity campaign for women dedicated to creating a united front against violent extremism.

Women of One Fabric uses dialogue to highlight the commonalities of loss and tragedy that result from acts of violent extremism, and will help to create understanding for the role that women must play in order to counteract the rhetoric of revenge and terror. The international workshops form the basis of a global campaign that will attract attention to the universal threat of violent extremism and the painful human aftermath of such acts.

The participants of the Women of One Fabric workshop, New York 2012

Hosted by the Eileen Fisher Leadership Institute at the Company Headquarters in Irvington, a group of women impacted by 9/11 will include pieces of a personal belonging of their loved one in the creation of beautiful sheets of hand-made paper. After the paper has dried, participants will embellish the paper under the guidance of a local artist to depict their emotions of loss, and hope for a future without violent extremism. During the workshop there will be opportunity to foster conversation, mentorship, and outreach opportunities, and subsequently the exhibit will be displayed in Atlanta, Georgia, Washington D.C., New York, and around the world.

With similar workshops in the US, Indonesia, Nigeria, Somalia, India, Pakistan and Northern Ireland, culminating in an international art exhibition, Women of One Fabric will work to create a new narrative of unity and agency instead of division and victimhood.

Youth from Around the World Unite Against Violent Extremism: Reflections on Project Common Bond

Arshi Saleem Hashmi
SAVE Chapter Leader in Pakistan

By Arshi Saleem Hashmi with input from Nafeesa Rahman & Husna Ihsan


Project Common Bond is an initiative by Tuesday’s Children, a partner organization of SAVE/Sister against Violent Extremism that provides support for individuals affected by the tragic events of 9/11. Launched in 2008, Project Common Bond brings together teenagers from around the world who share a 'common bond'--the loss of a family member due to an act of violence or terrorism.

 

Every year, teens gather for an eight-day healing and peace-building symposium where they engage in dialogue and community-building activities that acknowledge and respect their differences while promoting friendship and understanding.

Arshi Saleem Hashmi, SAVE’s Chapter Leader in Pakistan, attended this year’s event with two outstanding young women from Swat, a region that was taken hostage by Taliban fighters for many years. Nafeesa Rahman and Husna Ihsan lost their uncle to a terrorist attack and were relocated to IDP camps after their families’ were forced to leave their homes. When they returned to their village, everything was destroyed, but the girls were determined to go back to school and take on an active role in the rebuilding of their community.

Photo by Project Common Bond

It was an outstanding initiative on part of Tuesday’s Children to invite 75 young girls and boys from 15 countries to share a common bond of humanity with each other. From Pakistan, Nafeesa Rahman and Husna Ihsan took part in Project Common Bond (PCB) 2012 that was held in Boston from July 12-20. The eight-day conference was a great opportunity to meet young people from around the world and learn to better understand different cultures.

The participants were victims of war, conflict, violence and terrorism; and PCB was an opportunity not only to share their pain and grief with one another, but also moments of joy and healing. They all shared the common goal of working towards building a peaceful and secure world through participation in various activities and training sessions on conflict resolution and peace.

Young participants learned to work together in a number of ways: they conducted needs assessments, proposed ideas for projects, thought of creative ways to fundraise and designed their very own program. Some of the main themes discussed were social awareness, responsiveness, flexibility, empathy, caring, communication, humor and having a sense of purpose for the future, including having healthy expectations, goals, and orientation towards success. The participants also stressed on the crucial importance of young people’s involvement in the development of programs that shape policies affecting their future.

Sharing the common goal of rejecting violence and violent extremism encourages young people to stand united against forces that induce chaos, distrust and hostility to safeguard their vested interest. Most of the violence that occurs around us is due to misunderstanding and lack of trust, but this can change if we take the time to get to know other cultures, and hold on to the common goal of building a more peaceful world for future generations.

Click here for more information on Tuesday’s Children and Project Common Bond.

Resisting revenge: a terrorism victim stops the cycle of violence

Hayati Eka Laksmi © Xenia Hausner

SAVE brought Hayati Eka Laksmi from Indonesia to Vienna in June for the Mothers MOVE conference. This is her story, published first by Common Ground News Service.

On the day of the Bali bombing in 2002, Hayati Eka Laksmi received a call from a representative of a car rental firm. The car her husband rented with some friends had been caught in traffic in the nearby tourist district of Kuta and a bomb had exploded just three vehicles away.

Eka had already heard about the bombing, but it never crossed her mind that her husband could have been affected. Her initial horror that a group could perpetrate such an attack in the name of Islam gave way to personal grief. She began a frantic search for information, trying to find out if her husband was still alive.

It took seven days before Eka found her husband’s body lying in a mortuary. “I had to identify his body based on marks pointed out by the forensic team and through DNA testing,” said Eka. “I was deeply shocked when it was confirmed that ‘Mr. X’ in Bag Number 145 was the body of my husband.”

The loss of her husband left Eka to bring up her two young sons on her own. “I relied on my husband’s income. My two boys were very young at the time, two and three years old. We were all deeply affected. I became traumatised and depressed.”

Eka noticed that her children were also becoming angry, sad and sometimes aggressive. On the first anniversary of the bombing, she felt that she must do something to move her family out of the grief into which they had sunk.

For six months, Eka received counselling from at a non-governmental organisation that actively helps survivors and victims’ families. Once she completed therapy, the organisation asked her to start working for them, which allowed her to earn some money. Like many women affected by terrorism, she had lost the household’s main breadwinner, and struggled to keep the family going economically. With the help of her mother, she opened a small shop selling domestic goods like sugar, coffee and gas.

Once she had resolved the most pressing needs of everyday life, Eka turned to the emotional needs of her children, taking them to counselling. She recognised that many families were going through the same trauma, and decided to bring friends who had also lost relatives in the bombings to counselling as well.

Gradually, Eka helped create a network of victims called Isana Dewata (Wives Husbands Children of Victims of the Bali Bombings). Through discussion and mutual support, victims were able to find the strength and spirit to overcome their hardships and turn their grief into positive action. The group now consists of 22 families, including 47 children.

The Bali bombings killed people from 22 countries around the world and from several different religions.

Eka recently travelled to Vienna for the Mothers MOVE conference, organised by SAVE-Sisters Against Violent Extremism, the world’s first female counter-terrorism platform. SAVE aims to break through barriers of nationalism, religion and ethnicity to create a global network of women dedicated to ending violent extremism, and to highlight the voices of victims to expose the human cost of terrorism.

In Vienna, Eka joined women from Nigeria, Yemen, Egypt, Pakistan, Palestine, Israel and Northern Ireland, all of whom have lost relatives to terrorism or who are working actively to counter violent extremism. Eka shared her own story and learnt from the experiences of others. Over the three days, the women built up an intimate trust. They gained inspiration from each other’s stories and recognised that even across cultures, the pain a mother feels on losing a husband or child is the same.

Eka recognises that a mother’s influence is very important: “Mothers are the basis of the family. [A mother] can give her children direction. Those children who were affected by the Bali bombing might have anger in their hearts. Mothers can explain to them that it is no good to seek revenge. Through cooperation with other mothers, women can better support their children.”

“My children’s lives were changed because of cowards who acted in the name of religion, but these bombings are not about religion,” Eka adds. “Islam does not teach us to kill each other. Religion is a basic need, and it is my foundation for life. I have learnt to appreciate the blessings that God has given to us and accept all of this with a sincere heart and without a grudge against anyone, not even against the terrorists who killed my husband.”

People-to-people contact and victims' stories break cycle of violence in Israel and Palestine

Robi Damelin, representative of SAVE Israel, reflects on the current situation in Israel and Palestine, highlighting the importance of people-to-people contact between the two sides. Teaching the young generation through presenting real life stories is key to initiating a sustainable reconciliation process. Incorporating reconciliation in any future peace agreement is also essential. Original article published by Common Ground News Service.

Tel Aviv - The recent violence in Israel and Gaza is threatening to spiral into yet another cycle of reprisals and counter-reprisals in this long and intractable conflict. This ceaseless reality of violence, which has engulfed Israelis and Palestinians for decades, has already caused terrible damage severely affecting the social and cultural fabric of both societies and substantially degrading the relationships between them.

I lost my beloved son David in this bloody conflict. He was pursuing a Master's degree in the Philosophy of Education. He was part of the peace movement and did not want to serve in the Occupied Territories when he was called in for reserve duty.

For me, dialoguing with students in schools about reconciliation has become the most meaningful way of commemorating his name.

I belong to a unique grassroots organisation called the Parents Circle - Families Forum (PCFF), comprised of Israelis and Palestinians who have lost immediate family members to the conflict. We come from all walks of life, with one thing in common: we share the same pain, and recognise that if we – Palestinians and Israelis who have paid the ultimate price – can understand the need for a non-violent solution to this conflict, then surely this belief can serve as an example for others.

Our long-term goal is to create a framework for a reconciliation process that would be incorporated into any future political peace agreement. Our power stems from the collaborative work of our members – now more than 600 families – half of which are Palestinian and the other half Israelis.

Our most important ongoing work on the ground is conducting dialogue meetings in schools. They allow us to reach more than 25,000 students every year. We speak to 16- and 17-year-old Palestinian and Israeli students who, for the most part, have not met anyone from the "other side". Coming into a classroom of Jewish-Israeli students with a Palestinian partner who tells his or her personal story and journey to reconciliation opens their eyes to the humanity and narrative of the other side.

For Jewish Israeli students, this may be the first opportunity to hear what the daily life of a Palestinian living under occupation is all about. For the Palestinians this may also be their first encounter with an Israeli not in an army uniform or who is not a settler.

Anyone attending a meeting with members of the Parents Circle cannot be immune to the deep sense of trust between us. They listen to Nasra from Nablus who lost two sons, together with Roni from Tel Aviv, who has also lost two sons in the conflict. Together they stand in front of hundreds, sharing their determination to prevent others from experiencing this loss. This joint, heartfelt plea must be an example to all.

One of the most important elements we feel is missing in the Arab-Israeli discourse is real human stories. For this reason we have recently introduced a programme that uses personal narratives to build trust, empathy and mutual understanding between Palestinians and Israelis, through a parallel narrative experience. The programme offers an opportunity for hundreds of Palestinians and Israelis to tell their stories, sharing the most difficult consequences of the conflict.

Our latest efforts focus on social media as a means to cross the forbidden border and create conversation between people on both sides of the conflict. Called "A crack in the wall”, this initiative allows Israelis and Palestinians to engage, tell their stories and get to know one another directly. One Palestinian speaks and 100,000 Israelis will listen; one Israeli speaks and 100,000 Palestinians will listen.

Our personal experiences have led us to a strong belief that any peace agreement achieved between the Israelis and Palestinians cannot be sustained without a substantial reconciliation process between the two peoples.

We have all watched politicians signing peace agreements on the lawn of the White House, but this has led only to a ceasefire. We understand that we must create the possibility for people to understand the needs of the “other”. We have studied many other countries and realised that without a people-to-people peace process and a framework for reconciliation that will suit the cultural needs of the two peoples, this conflict will go on forever.

In this period of uncertainty and change, we cannot afford to give up hope and wait for new leaders. We who best understand the consequences of violence will continue to work for the human dignity and freedom for all.